Poter's life extended (Vers.9/2010)
Two years ago, the world got to know that there's a creatur which's totally different from us, it's called "Poter". For those two years no one on earth got new information on that weird guy - till now. Do you want to know my motivation for taking my pen out of the drawer in order to write those anecdotes? Well, an important reason is my legs, because I needed them to move my body from one room to another in order to fetch some pieces of paper. Furthermore I finally had to release this text on the internet so that nerds, geeks an cyber-freaks sitting all day long in front of their computers - like YOU - are able to read "Poter2". The second reason why I needed my legs is to enter the real life so that I was able to get to know new tales about Poter live or by contemporary witnesses. Just as well I was pleasantly surprised about the positive feedback, that I got after the release of "Poter's life". When I - winged by the success of Poter's life - seemed not to be able to handle my success, feeling "Now I'm a superstar" there was an encounter - eyeball to eyeball with a wolf - that brought me back down to earth and made me finally write Poter2. This encounter didn't happen just one time; it happened about eight times at least twice a week in the biology-classroom (additionally I must say, that this wolf has been a real person whose given name was Christian, Wolf was just his family name). Christian, 16, always laughing and liking doing jokes couldn't wait to get new stories about Poter. So he revealed to me that he unconditionally wanted to get more of Poter and he finally made me write "Poter's life extended". My way of writing may be a bit difficult to understand but that's not my problem. But I stick to it, everything that you can read in this story is true!
Today the term "victim" is often out of place in our linguistic usage but in this case not. The "site of crime" was the classroom "C040". It was probably on a Tuesday but nobody knows it for sure...Poter was bored sitting on his chair while Mr. Lehmköster taught history. Poter wondered if the lesson won't finally end. Alexander (I'm not thinking of Alexander the Great) sat next to him. And ibid Alexander dind't like that day at all. His antipathy against that day accumulated the food he had ate 3 hours before in his stomach so much that he couldn't stop it coming back out of his mouth - he vomited. So far so good. However, this tale wouldn't be in this text if I left out some interesting details: Because of the constriction in the classroom Alexander didn't get the idea to ask Mr. Lehmköster if he could go to the toiletts in order to vomit here. Unheralded he spat his stomach contents without knowing where he spouted. I'm sure you can guess where he spouted, when you read the title of that story: Poor Poter was the target for Alex's stomach contents without being able to abscond the curious attack because of the constriction. He never wore the polluted jacked again...
But there's one thing Poter is good at: Blows of fate make him only temporary down, he always tries to rise again. Admittedly after rising, it happened that he was standing for too long, like on one of those days, which deserve the seal of approval: Unforgettable! It was not probably on a Tuesday, it was on a Saturday evening, I know it for sure! Poter has been being in the church of Vorbach, like many other local honorable citizens did and filled the bench in the first row, alone - the proceedings didn't seem to take an unusual turn... Far from it! Indeed first of all everything seemed to be usual: After the introit the Catholic parson received the citizens. Some minutes later he startet reading the gospel, so everyone sat down. Everyone? No! Poter kept on standing since sitting alone in the first row he was not able to recognize that everbody was sitting now - apart of him. So he stood alone in front of the parson for minutes, who stole same glances to poor Poter again and again. Even quiet calls from behind could not shift the embarrasing moments of Poter who stood alone for the rest of the gospel. You may perhaps think "This is not funny at all" but as an eye witness I can ensure you, it was really funny .
Though, true to the motto "Everyone has a skeleton in the closet" I would like to change the topic. There's an interesting thing which happened in 8th grade: It was probably on a Tuesday but nobody knows it for sure...Poter really liked Mr Gräß's English-class and he liked the language much. However in the 6th lesson there came about some memorable moments that will make generations of people laugh. The kind English-teacher who was certainly looking forward to the end of that day decided to give easy work to his students in order to make the rest of the school-day even nicer. So he chose Poter to read a page of the English-book. This ended in the following conversation:
Gräß: Poter, would you like to read the text on page 49, please?
Gräß: Poter, yes, I'm thinking of you, it's your turn, now!
Gräß: Poter, please start to read! Do you even know your job?
Poter: Yes, I do. -silence-
Gräß: So, why don't you start reading?
- Poter's life
This is the first part of Poter's life extended. It's about Poter, a stange guy who has a lot of problems...
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